Suffering the effects of Malvado Pharmaceuticals ‘life changing’ products and treatments?
Join the club!
We’re here to help you understand how to live with the sad reality that the worlds ‘most trusted’ company has ripped you off and left you in a pit to burn with the rest of us sorry souls.
First things first, the rules of dealing with being different:
1. You can NEVER tell or contact anyone from Malvado Pharmaceuticals. They will just bag you up and leave your corpse to rot in a hole somewhere nice and comfortable.
2. Unless you want the same to happen, keep to yourself and don’t venture out into busy areas during day light hours. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb, and most likely be bagged by the Quarantine Bureau in a matter of minutes, and disposed of shortly after.
3. Moisturiser doesn’t help with any boils you may be suffering, so don’t even bother.
4. Remember that “A matter of national security” is an ‘access all areas’ pass, meaning that all of your state-appointed human rights are void.
5. Online supermarket deliveries are you best friend.